On Second Thought....
In Kayla's first week, David and I reflected on our first thoughts of her. I thought it would be nice for her one day to read those and figured it's about time we do it again. So, here are our thoughts after several months.
Kayla-bear,
I can hardly believe my eyes when I see the little girl before me! You have grown up so much... you are no longer the little infant I brought home from the hospital. Now you are a baby who can smile at me and giggle and you have such vibrance in your personality! You are eager to take new things in....
I love watching you explore new things, new toys, new atmostpheres, new foods. I love hearing you breathe heavy when you are trying to absorb all of the new information.
I love the way you always know where I am no matter who is holding you. You often turn to me to make sure that whatever the person holding you is doing is ok (is it ok for me to laugh when daddy is tickling me like this?). I love knowing that I am a source of comfort for you.
I love the face you make when you fall asleep while nursing. It's this smug look you give that shows pure happiness and satisfaction. I love snuggling with you at these times before I put you in your crib. Sometimes I want to hold you like that forever. Sometimes you bring tears to my eyes when I say goodnight prayers with you - you are such a joy and a blessing in my life, and I am thankful to God every day for the gift He entrusted me with.
I love our nursing relationship. You are becoming much more social, and it is getting harder and harder to nurse you! I can't have anyone around, even your dad, because you are constantly checking up to see what else is going on, or stare at the pretty pillows around us, or the very interesting (white) ceiling. But sometimes you pull off and stare at me and make cooing noises and smile at me, and then jump right back into eating! It is so absolutely precious. I will miss that.
I am so fortunate that I am able to stay home with you. I'm sure things would work out if I had to go into work each day, but it is such a joy and such a blessing to be able to spend each day with you. Not to say that every day is all fun and games. It's a lot of work to take care of you! Especially on days when you are crabby and need me to hold or entertain you all day long and you decide that you don't need to nap! But most days we have a lot of fun together! You make this lip smacking noise, like you are blowing kisses, and you send them all the time! I just love it! I love seeing the light in your eyes when you see a toy across the room, and now you are able to either roll or slowly crawl towards it. It is so fun to see the satisfaction in your eyes and the glee in your voice when you reach your prize!
I love hearing you talk. I love hearing you explore new sounds and new pitches, and love hearing you blow your raspberries ALL.THE.TIME!
I love how transparent you are at times. You rub your eyes and I know you are getting sleepy. You give a pathetic whimper and pouty face when you are finally giving into your tiredness and are just about to fall asleep in my arms. You start to arch towards me, or get the hiccups, and I know you are getting hungry. You cry when I set you down because you want me to hold you. I love how happy you get when I start taking your clothes off for a diaper change or a bath. I love how excited you get when I come to pick you up out of your crib.
You are such a happy little girl. Yes, you fuss. You dislike going to sleep (you don't like to miss out on anything!), you have your rough moments. But overall, you are a happy little girl.
Having you makes me love your dad even more. I love seeing him interact with you. I love how concerned he is about you (we always check on your before we go to bed, just to make sure you are ok and still breathing!!). I love seeing parts of him when I look at you. I love knowing that you are the product of our loving relationship.
Before you were born, I didn't know if I wanted to have a baby girl or boy. I didn't care either way. I was just thrilled to have a child. But now that you are here, I am so excited to have a daughter. I am so excited to have YOU! I couldn't ask for a more special child. You make me laugh, you make me cry (both tears of joy and sometimes tears of frustration!), you make me appreciate life, and love, and God. You are a special little girl. You make me realize how lucky and how blessed I am.
I love you little peanut.
Mom
Part 2 (David's thought) to follow shortly!