Making Way for Baby #2!
Well, I'm 36 weeks pregnant and reality is slowly setting in. I remember being pregnant with Kayla it was so difficult for me to possibly imagine what life would be like with a baby in our lives, in our house, keeping us up at night, keeping us busy during the day. Now I can't imagine what life will be like adding a baby to our busy life with a toddler! It is hard to imagine, but I think I'm mostly excited... and also extremely scared!
I'm entering into a realm where I'm completely unsure. As an only child, I have no idea what it's like to have or be a sibling. This is something new for Kayla, but it's new for me too. And I'm unsure as to how this will change things. Drastically, probably, and I'm ok with that. I'm actually really ready to dig into it and figure things out. But I know it will be a tough transition for all of us; for Kayla especially. And I am mourning the loss of spending all of my time and attention on just her. Now my attention will be divided. And in the beginning, babies are pretty demanding. How will Kayla react to this change? How will she react to the baby? How will I react to the change? I am hoping that having family in town will help with the transition. My mom and mom-in-law will each be here for about 2 weeks (or that's the plan anyway) and will be able to give Kayla lots of special attention, and allow me to concentrate on figuring out the baby.... and then also take the baby off my hands for awhile, so I can give 1-on-1 attention to Kayla. I'm not sure how it will all work out, but it is fun to think about.
I've been going shopping, getting things I'll need right away. We have a new outfit for both a boy and a girl to bring him/her home in. I have diapers, new nighttime nursing bras and lanolin cream. I have a new shirt for Kayla that says, "I love being a big sister!" or something like that. I bought a swing on craigslist for the baby (since the one we had for Kayla went up in flames, literally!!!). I bought a new diaper bag.... since the one we used last time got pretty destroyed over time, so I ended up throwing it out. I am also mourning the loss of just carrying around my small purse/diaper bag with minimal things for Kayla and I. I bought Dreft and have done a few loads of laundry to wash the car seat fabric, Boppy and Breast-Friend covers, swing seat, bassinette sheets and all my 0-3 month gender neutral clothes. I cleared out all of Kayla's clothes from the nursery and put them in her big girl room, making room for all of those clean clothes and have put them in the drawers. I dug out the binder with info from our Childbirth class and notes from "The Big Book of Birth" that I read last time. Browsing all that is on my to-do list. Also still on the to-do list, finalizing names for the baby! That was one of the hardest things with Kayla - we debated for so long on what our top names were.... and it looks like we again are undecided on our top name! We do have a top 5ish list for both girl and boy names, though. That's a start :)
Clearly I'm in the nesting stage of pregnancy. But it brings back my least favorite thing of pregnancy... waiting. I have a due date, April 8. But this baby can and will come whenever he/she is good and ready. It could be tomorrow or he/she could be 2 weeks late! It's so hard not to know! I really do hate that anticipation! I guess I wouldn't want to know everything exactly... there is some fun in the element of surprise. But, you know, if we could narrow the birth date down to like even 1 week, that'd be great! :) But since you can't, I truly need to give all trust and control up to God, and just be still. It's very hard for me. Very, very hard.
At my 36 week Dr apt, I found out that I am 1 cm dilated, 60% effaced, and the baby is at the -2 station. While this is no indication that I'll go early, in my labor with Kayla I had been in labor with contractions 3 mins apart for several hours before I was 1cm dilated, 90% effaced and she was at the -2 station. So, I'm chalking this up to "free progress" and am content with that! :)
Here's a belly shot of me at 34 weeks:
