Change
Hm... where to begin. Well, awhile ago I start journaling a past called "The Post that Wasn't". I jotted down some of my feelings as we journeyed through life, but I knew that it wasn't something I'd ever be able to post. Even now, it's not something I necessarily want to post. But I suppose some of it will come to life in this "journal entry".
When David and I graduated from Calvin we were searching for where we wanted to live. We decided that we wanted to live near my parents in MA, a high tech savvy area where David should be able to find a great job. However, God laughed at our plan and both of us searched for jobs to no avail. On a whim we went to visit friends in MI and pick up a few things we'd left from college. While we were out here we decided that it wouldn't hurt to test the job market. David had 2 interviews in the 3 days we were there (which was more than he had in the several months we'd searched in MA). On our drive back to MA, we did a lot of talking and a lot of praying, and really felt that God was opening doors for us to move back to MI. So, we did. And God nearly immediately provided a job for David doing exactly what he wanted to do. Clearly God was faithful to us and made our transition better than we could have expected. It was not easy, not everything worked out perfectly (my horrible job, for example), but God provided for us. We did not anticipate living in MI for forever, but we saw it as a great short-term home. A year later we bought our house and thought we'd be in it for 5 years (that was 2003!). Two cats and two kids later, we are still living in and loving that house! But, David's satisfaction at work was dwindling and we did not want to send Kayla to the GR public school system, so we thought about what it would look like to move to a different area of GR. The more we talked about it, the more we wondered if that was really what we wanted. We had always thought that one day we might move near our family, and we were wondering what it would be like to do it now.
Over the course of the last several years, God has been moving in my heart too. Because we live so far away from David's siblings, our relationships are not as strong as they could be if we lived closer. Each time we get together with his family, I'm struck by how much I really truly love his siblings, as though they were my own siblings, and I mourn the fact that we only get to see them once or twice a year. When Isaac was born, Steph didn't get to see him until he was nearly 6 months old. I remember her saying that is totally unacceptable, that she should have a nephew that she didn't get to see for so long. At Christmas Brian asked if we thought Isaac would be walking and talking by next Thanksgiving! He said that's probably the next time he'd see us! That about broke my heart. As our kids grow up, I really want them to know their Aunts and Uncles, and they just aren't getting the chance to do so. And I hope one day they'll have cousins, and I'd love for my kids to grow up near their cousins. We get to see both sets of grandparents pretty frequently, considering the distance. But David's siblings, not so much. In some ways it kills me to not live near my own parents. I'm an only child, and I've provided their only possible grandchildren. And we live far away. I hate that. Moving near my parents would solve the issue of not having any family close, but it would not solve the issue of not seeing David's siblings. And I really feel that God has been working in my heart to really start to desire to move closer to them.
After Steph's wedding in October, we started having serious conversations about moving to NC. David got a recruiter down there, and also one in MI and started looking for jobs. He had a series of interviews for a job here in GR in December, and it was pretty clear that they were going to offer him a job when we were back in town in Jan. Over Christmas vacation we did a lot of talking about what we wanted in life. Should he take the new job in GR? If he did, it would commit us to staying in GR for several more years. Or, did we want to open yourselves up to the possibility of a cross country move? We decided we would prepare ourselves for the opportunity of a move, and leave the details up to God. If it was part of His will for us to move, then he would make it possible. If it was part of His will for us to stay, He would make that pretty clear to us as well.
In January we went to Target and bought some large storage containers. We started to de-clutter our house. We got rid of a lot of things we didn't use or didn't want/need. We sold things on craigslist. We painted our room, the dining room and the entryway and upstairs hallway. We finished up projects that needed to be done. We worked hard in January and February to get our house ready for the market. We rented a storage unit and got rid of the things that needed to get out of the house. In March we put our house on the market. We prayed. We prayed that God would make it clear, one way or another, what His will for our lives was. We knew that it would be a miracle if he could find a job and we sold our house at the same time. We prayed for a miracle, but also realized that more than likely one would come before the other. So we planned for what it would look like to sell our house first and move into temporary housing in GR, or what it would look like for David to start a new job and either me and the kids stay in MI til the house sold, we stage our house and leave it furnished but all move to NC, we take everything and try to sell a vacant house, or we rent it out.
David resumed his job searching (he stopped while we spent the majority of our free time getting the house ready). We prayed.
I went out of town the first week in April and while I was gone David did a lot of job searching and making phone calls to people. I came back in town on April 12th. That Friday the 15th he had a phone interview that went really well. They wanted him to come down to NC for a face-to-face. He decided to do another phone interview to get a few more questions answered before we made the investment of buying a ticket, not to mention the time he'd be away. He did that on Wednesday. They still wanted him to come down, and they wanted him soon. That Friday was Good Friday and he had the day off of work already. He had a major work release the following week and he knew he could not go out of town during that time (not to mention that he would have to fake a reason why he wasn't at work). I booked him a ticket Wednesday afternoon for him to leave first thing Friday morning. We bought trip insurance in case the plane was delayed (since he only had that day to meet them, if he arrived late he wouldn't be able to do the interview). He made it there on time. He had a great meeting. He was offered the job later that afternoon. He flew home Saturday evening and after talking it over he accepted it on Sunday evening. He put in his 2 weeks’ notice at work on Tuesday, after all the paperwork had been filled out making it official. We met with our real estate agent and decided to lower the price on our house by $15,000 (OUCH) and do an Open House the following Sunday. A couple came through the Open House and loved it. They came back again to the Open House with one set of parents. They knocked on our door that evening with the other set of parents and asked if they could walk through it one more time. They put in an offer on Monday. We countered on Tuesday. They accepted on Wednesday. Our miracle happened.
That afternoon I started feeling sick. I figured it was my body's way of processing all the stress in our lives. But then I felt sick all day Thursday. And all day Friday. And I thought, “my this is an awfully familiar feeling”. So we bought a pregnancy test. I took it Saturday morning and it was positive! What a 2 week span this was! God's faithfulness to us, and God's surprise to us! Again, it's like God wanted to say to us, "I'll give you the miracle you were asking for (getting a job and selling our house at the same time) and I'll give you a miracle you didn't know you were asking for (having another child)." [I am writing this several months in hindsight....] Sometimes it's really hard to imagine what our life is going to be with 3 little ones. I am overwhelmed so often with 2 that I don't know how I can handle having 3. This would not have been our choice of timing (as we were moving across the country, trying to settle in, etc. Also, the baby is due at Christmas, not my first choice), but it is SO CLEARLY God's choice for us, that how can I even doubt God's plan? God won't give me more than I can handle, and while I currently find that hard to believe, I know it is true. And I'm so thankful that He is faithful and will provide for our family.
This year is bringing on a lot of change, but I'm excited for it, and excited for what God has in store for our lives.