Transition
Well... I am learning! :) It is tough having 3 kids, that's for sure! It was such a blessing to have my mom in town for awhile after Annika was born. She got up with Kayla and Isaac every morning so I could sleep in. She took charge of breakfast and lunches for everyone. She either cooked dinner or watched the kids while I cooked. She did dishes and loaded and unloaded the dishwasher. She watched the kids while I took care of Annika. She put kids down for naps and helped David put the kids down at bedtime. I was really dreading what it would be like when she left! However, it has actually gone much better than I thought!
We have been blessed by our friends in the neighborhood, by my MOPS group and by our small group at church. We had a "Meal Train" set up for us and were brought several meals a week for the month after my mom left us. What a blessing it was not to have to plan or shop or cook and yet still have something delicious to eat!! God has really blessed us with community!
It is a huge transition, but overall it's going well. The nice thing about babies is that they sleep so much that she often she doesn’t impact our day very much. Mornings are tough. I want to get the most sleep possible, so I'm staying in bed until I hear the kids wake up. Usually I hear Isaac crying/calling for me, so I go into his room and get him. Otherwise, Kayla's instructions are to not call for me (before Annika she used to call, "mommy, I'm ready, I'm awake"). I told her that I wouldn't be able to come to her, so she can't call for me. Instead, when she wakes up she can play in her room with her toys, or if she doesn't want to play and there is an 8 as the first number on the clock, then she can come into my room quietly and see if I'm awake! She has been pretty good about that, and most mornings I go into her room and get her (sometime she tells me she's not ready to be done playing yet!). But it is hard to figure out how to get everyone up, dressed, fed/nursed and out the door by 8:45 to get to preschool on time. It is hard because Kayla doesn’t like to be rushed in the mornings, Isaac is still dependant on me (to change him, dress him, clean him up from breakfast, put on shoes/jacket, etc) and because Annika’s nursing schedule is so random. Some days we are there on time and all happy (though it is rare!). Some days we are late (usually only 5-10mins, though) but all happy. And some days we are late and I am frustrated with Kayla’s lack of listening skills, crabby attitude and slow movement in the morning. It’s still a work in progress.
One of the toughest times for me is when I'm nursing Annika. It's hard to enforce rules when I'm sitting down occupied. Sometimes they play really well together, and sometimes not. I am still trying to figure that out! I am doing my best to not yell, but really, I feel like that is all I can do when they don’t listen the first (or second) time. Unfortunately, their TV time has increased because it’s so much easier on everyone when I have them watch something while I’m nursing. Then there is no fighting, no need to yell and everyone is happy! Sometimes I feel guilty about how much they watch, but honestly it doesn’t really matter! It’s not like we are watching hours a day, it’s not like we are watching TV instead of being active, and I do my best to make what we watch somewhat educational (most of the time!). I did my best with Kayla to not have her watch any TV until she was 2. But it’s harder to keep that rule with Isaac because Kayla likes to watch things, so he watches more than she did at his age. I still try to keep their total TV time down to 1 hour or less a day, and typically this is broken up into 2 or 3 different times of day. But some days it’s more and it’s for the best (my sanity!). So… yeah. Judge me, if you must! But spend a day in my shoes before you judge!! :)
The other tough time is getting everyone out the door and anywhere. It’s a task to get everyone dressed and shoes on and snacks and drinks prepared and diaper bag with diapers packed and Annika into her car seat and then holding the car seat and rocking it because she is crying and putting my shoes on and Isaac’s shoes on and his jacket on and Kayla’s hair brushed and the list goes on. I am thankful that Kayla is able to completely take care of all of her own needs, and is able to open the side door to my mini-van and buckle herself into her car seat on her own. It’s tough enough getting Isaac and the baby in the car and it seems like someone is always crying about something!
We have also changed how we do bedtime. Before Annika, David would take 1 kid and I would take the other (we’d take turns on who had who) and then we’d both head downstairs together. When Annika was first born we continued to do this and whoever had Kayla also took Annika. But so often Annika was fussy during that time and was screaming and making it very difficult to actually read to Kayla or talk to her over the screaming! So, we’ve started putting them down together in Isaac’s room and reading them their books together and singing songs together in his rocking chair. Then Kayla heads to her room while Isaac gets settled in his crib, and finally she gets settled in her bed. One of us will stay downstairs with Annika (me if she needs to eat during that time) while the other puts the 2 down. This has gone over really well with the kids (when we sing songs in the chair Isaac says, “hand” to Kayla so they hold hands, how adorable!) and has gone really well for us too!
Kayla has done really well adding another kid into the family. She is enjoying the roll of big sister again and loves to hold Annika and is a really big help to me. She hasn't really shown any negative signs/behavior or regression with the new addition.
Isaac, on the other hand, is having a tough time. He loves Annika very much. He is so protective of her - if she is ever crying he'll say, "baby!" and then "sh, sh, sh" to try to calm her, or gently pat her; it's really cute. However, I think he is suffering now that he is not the only baby anymore. He has always been the easiest kid to put down for naps or bed. Sometimes he'd even point to his crib while we were reading books or singing songs because he was ready to go lay down. Now, when we try to lay him down he clings to us for dear life and is sobbing if you try to leave the room. If he was able to see us (if we stayed in his room, or he could see us in the hallway) he was fine. But if we went out of sight he acted like we would *NEVER* ever come back again. It was really quite heartbreaking to hear him cry like this. He was also waking up crying in the middle of the night, after not doing that in nearly a year. Finally, after nearly a month, we seem to be on the other side of this (thankfully). After many discussions with David and I trying to figure out what was up and find some solutions, we are attempting to baby him as much as possible, carrying him more often, kissing him on the head more often, calling him baby Isaac again... and then we are leaving his door open and continue to sing songs as we walk down the hall. Somehow the combination of these things as well as time has helped him transition. I hope we are over the worst of it!
I really love having 3 kids, and while there is more work and more chaos and sometimes more stress, there is also more love and more precious moments.
I will try to update the blog again in a few months about how the transition continues!
